Memories are Crucial
In memory of Reat Griffin Underwood. Of all my memories, the one memory id choose to keep alive, “I love you too, mom” spoken by Reat on his final day with us.
My family and I love pistachios! Every time I crack a shell open to grab the yummy nut inside, a memory comes to mind.
My oldest son, Reat and I are sitting at our kitchen counter sifting through the easiest to open shells. Finding a nut with no shell, he says to me, “a freebie”! The first time he gobbled it up himself. The second time, he handed it to me.
A simple memory.
memories become dreams
Danny and Reat performed on cello and violin for their talent show.
On May 16, 2021, it is likely Reat would have graduated from the University of Oklahoma. This and all college graduations are someone else’s memory. I knew this day would come; this time of year brings a haunting feeling to my soul. What would have and should have been. Would Reat have been a pre-med major, following in his grandfather’s footsteps to be a physician? Would his interest in neurology have taken hold and stuck with him for a double major in neuroscience and biology? Would Reat have tried out and performed on stages at the University? These questions linger in my mind and cause a deep ache in my heart.
Reat will turn 22 in Heaven on Friday, May 21, 2020. The simple memories, like cracking pistachio shells at my kitchen counter, are crucial.
Popeye and Yea Yea with Reat after his performance in Damn Yankees.
I find it healthy to allow these questions and others like them, to sit unanswered in the air for a period. With each consideration of what his life would have been, the ache in my heart grows stronger. Consciously, I am aware of the pool of tears waiting their turn to flow down my cheeks. I had a good cry on May 1, noting that birthdays, Mother’s Day, and graduations were about to appear in my life. My aching heart has been filling with new tears since then. Now, the familiar ache is with me and building momentum as we come closer to the day of his birth, a memory indelible in my mind.
Life’s healing Moments
What do we do with these sad moments in life? Personally, I feel them. Hold them close for what I think is long enough for me and then I release them, like a butterfly from a chrysalis. With my friends, the tears, now streaming down my face, a smile finds me. Reat is happy. He has a busy schedule in Heaven, I think. My faith tells me he will hug me again when I arrive to his spirit. Not knowing when this will be, I make plans to continue my healing and look onward to helping you heal, as well.
On the way to H. Roe Bartle Scout Camp.
In memory of Reat Griffin Underwood and perhaps for the sake of your own aching heart consider the following acts for healing:
♦ Donate $22 (Reat’s age) to the Faith Always Wins Foundation.
♦ Purchase “Healing a Shattered Soul” for a family member or friend in need of hope and inspiration.
♦ Make or buy a treat (fudge, s’mores, rhubarb pie) for your local first responders.
♦ Offer & receive hugs from your family members and friends – maybe even a stranger in need.
♦ Schedule an appointment to donate blood or plasma.
♦ Spend time with those who love YOU – share memories from the past and make new ones for the future!
If I had to choose one memory to keep alive, ”I love you too, mom” spoken by Reat on his final day with us, would be the one.
Together we are better,
